Land of Dreams
A short story by Keith Redhead

Part of the Fifth Doctor Fiction collection

"Doctor there's a cafe over there." Peri led the way through the quaint French village towards the promise of a cup of coffee and a croissant.

"Yes Peri, although I sense we may have not arrived at the best possible time." The Doctor was dressed in his usual beige Edwardian cricketer's regalia. "The TARDIS was giving off some odd readings."

"Doctor, relax. This is a small French village who may not have seen a tourist for years." Peri smiled as she entered the door and almost walked straight into a Gestapo officer.

"Mind out ze vay you stupid French peasant." Herr Flick snapped. He was busy trying to follow up a lead on The Fallen Madonna, with the big boobies.

"It seems this is wartime France Peri, and there are quite a number of visitors here. Fortunately I can use the correct lingual inflections."

"Yes well on the other hand as an American I'll end up in a nice cell by the end of breakfast." Peri wished she had worn something a little more conservative.

"Ah come in and sit down. I will ave one of the girls bring you a menu. I am the owner Rene Artoise. If you are really lucky my wife will not sing this early in the morning." Rene went back behind the bar to get more wine for the German soldiers.

"We stand out like sore thumbs Doctor." Peri began. Any moment now she expected to find herself in front of a firing squad.

"Relax Peri, if they ask say we're part of a band of travelling entertainers and have become separated from the rest of our fellows." The Doctor looked at the menu suspiciously. "They don't seem to have any tea on the menu."

"All I want is a cup of coffee and a croissant Doctor. Can you order for me while I freshen up?" Peri went off in search of the restroom.

"Can I help sir?"

"Ah yes. I'll have a glass of water and my young friend will have a cup of coffee and a croissant."

"Excuse me for mentioning sir but your accent." Rene gasped. "You are English are you not?"

"Well I do get that a lot, yes. It's not that obvious is it?" The Doctor frowned. If he was caught he maybe shot out of hand as a spy.

"Well not to the Germans but to a Frenchman like myself well you sound as real as that Officer Crabtree."

Peri found herself lost inside the old cafe. She was in a back room and there was a strange woman dressed in a brown overcoat climbing in through the window wearing a brown beret.

"Could you give me a hand? I seem to be stuck." She pulled out a gun. "Now who are you and what have you done with Rene?"

"He's serving the customers, I'm looking for the restroom."

"Ha, you are an American. No doubt here to finally get those airmen back to England."

"What Airmen?"

"Of course deny everything until I can prove who I am. Very clever, very clever. I am Michelle of the Resistance. You know you really stand out in that outfit. Here put on my coat and beret, I have many others."

Peri felt overdressed but at least she felt lest conspicuous. "Thanks, they're very nice."

"Third door down the corridor. Knock first In case it's engaged."

"What?"

"The facilities, the convenience. The what was it you called it? The restroom." Michelle handed Peri a sealed envelope. "Give it to Rene when you next see him." And then she was gone back out of the window.

The Doctor was nursing his glass of water when Peri returned. "Your coffee's getting cold, but the owner assures me there is an endless bottom for you."

"I just met the strangest person back there Doctor. She gave me her coat and hat."

"Ah the Resistance. I suspected a place such as this would be an ideal drop for them."

"Why do you say that?"

"A cafe full of German soldiers? It's perfect."

Rene wandered over and had a double take when he saw Peri's new attire. "Where did you get those garments?"

"I met a strange lady when I was looking for your restroom. She gave me this coat and beret. And a message for you." She handed the unopened envelope over.

"What is this?" He said as he opened it. He read the contents and looked worried. Tonight. The old chateau. Three bags of onions. Don't let Herr Flick suspect. "Well I must thank you my dear and in the proper French manner." He bent over Peri and planted a kiss firmly on the lips.

"Rene! What are you doing with that girl?" Edith Artois entered with a face like thunder.

"You stupid woman. Can't you see she was choking to death on her croissant. If it was not for me forcing air into her lungs she would be dead by now and she and her male friend have not paid their bill yet."

"Oh Rene I am so sorry can you ever forgive me jumping to conclusions?"

Peri left as quick as possible. "Urgh that sick creep. I hope they find out he is a resistance member."

"Thank you my dear. Zat piece of information vill be most useful." Herr Flick clapped her on the shoulder. "For a French peasant you have been most useful to ze Fatherland."

The Doctor found Peri after paying the bill. "Ah there you are."

"Doctor I think I've just become a Nazi collaborator."

"Oh. What did you say?"

"I was just saying I hoped they found out he was a member of the resistance and there was that Gestapo creep behind me thanking me for the information."

"Oh well, not to worry. Back to the TARDIS I think. You know that beret really suits you." The Doctor smiled.

Peri took the beret off and threw it into a duck pond. The duck pond shattered and a tall white figure emerged. It was shaped like a child's toy robot and it advanced towards them menacingly.

"Peri, run."

They set off running towards the TARDIS.

"What's going on, Doctor?"

"We're in the Land of Fiction, Peri."

"The what?"

"I've seen those white robots before, several life times ago in fact. It's a bizarre region of space where all the physical laws on the universe no longer apply. It's controlled by a computer that feeds off the imagination of a host to create these bizarre fantasy realms. The last time I was here we freed the Master and escaped."

"You freed the Master? I would have thought this would have been his ideal prison. He could kill us to his hearts content."

"No no, he was a human. It's a title for the lack of a proper job description. The machine controls him just as much as everything else. It just used him as a sort of spokesman and intermediary if you will." The Doctor took his Panama hat off and quickly rolled it up and put it in his coat pocket.

"What about the beret Doctor?"

"Ah well that's the thing about plot devices, they're very handy and always dramatic. The land tries to ensnare you by making you into fiction. The computer creates a possible future in text and then manipulates its domain to make you follow that script word for word."

"What happens if you do that?"

"You become a character and become totally subject to the will of the computer. Your memory and personality are erased and you become an automaton without any thoughts or free will."

"Sounds like quite a few members of my family, especially Uncle Bob." Peri reflected on a few boring Christmases get togethers and was glad she was spending some time away from them.

The Doctor pulled out a coin and flipped it. "Heads left, tails right." It showed a head. He flipped the coin twice more until it showed a tail. "This way," he said as they went to the left.

They found a door quite in the middle of an open field. They walked around it twice. They stood on opposite sides and opened it. They found themselves looking out on to identical looking corridors. Neither could see the other.

"Lets not get separated Peri," the Doctor cautioned.

"Okay. Which side?"

"I don't think it matters but it's best to err on the side of caution." They both entered the same side of the door.

"We appear to be on some kind of organic ship. It's too clean and tidy to be a Zygon ship and it's not Vorlon either."

"Doctor, there's someone. Lets ask him."

The Doctor unrolled his hat and perched it on top of his head. "How do you do? I'm the Doctor and this is my friend Peri."

"Hi." Peri gave a small wave.

"I'm Stanley H. Tweedle. I'm the Captain of The Lexx. Are you peaceful?"

"Yes as long as people aren't firing guns at me."

"That's all right then. You can stop covering them now Kai."

A tall slender man dressed in a lot of black clothing stepped out of the shadows near Peri. "I am Kai, last of the Brunnen G." he said as he passed them. "I will tell Xev, 790 and Lykka that our visitors are safe."

"Don't mind him please, he's been dead for two thousand years. I think his social graces have improved in the last few months though."

"Well Captain Tweedle I don't suppose a tour of this ship is out of the question?"

"Really? I'd be delighted."

Peri thought his smile was a little too wolf-like for her taste.

Their tour was long and dull and Peri's feet hurt. How she longed for a bath and a long foot massage. She had seen the shower facilities and that was out of the question. Finally they were on the bridge and Peri was finally glad of some female company. Xev and Lykka were both great to talk to and they got on so well immediately. Until Lykka decided to try and eat Peri.

"Um no thanks. I prefer to stay alive if it's all the same with you."

"But I'm hungry. Don't you want to feed me Peri?"

"Doctor, lets get out of this madhouse." Peri was heading towards the door and accelerating fast.

"So sorry we couldn't stay and chat but well you know how it is." The Doctor chased after his companion at a leisurely pace that would overtake sprinters easily.

They passed along several identical seeming corridors that gradually altered from organic technology to a more familiar plastic and metal building interior corridor. They found themselves standing inside a huge domed room. So large was it that Peri could not see the other side of it. In the distance was presumably the centre of the room and there were several objects there.

The centre of the room was a massive computer set-up. Banks of digital transceivers flickered on and off. There was a number of bleeps as a lone figure pressed the controls of the master Controlboard.

"Ah Doctor, welcome to the heart of the machine." The new Master of the land was wearing a long black cloak. It turned around to reveal a bland looking woman. "I do hope you have enjoyed my little diversions. Now I hope you can appreciate my abilities. This host is much more creative than the last one. It has given me so much power and my capacities have increased beyond even your comprehension."

"I see you're mad little machine mind is still playing the same tune. Power this control that you haven't changed at all." The Doctor hoped it's claims were more exaggerated than he expected.

"See for yourself Time Lord. No more are we separate." The host removed the cloak to reveal that she had the body of a, slightly smaller and more feminine looking, white robot. "We are one now in body, mind and soul."

"Peri." The Doctor whispered. "When I say run we run for the TARDIS."

"How do we know it's still in the same place? This mad woman could have moved it."

"Oh I don't think so. Last time it was still in the same place I left it."

"I will demonstrate my power Doctor. Behold you're blue box." The TARDIS appeared suddenly beside the Master of the Land. "I will learn its secrets of time travel. I will travel time and space absorbing the best stories time has to offer and use fictional energy to expand my domain until everything is under my control. Think of it Doctor, the power to create Utopia and land of perfect peace and harmony and I will rule it absolute."

"A classic example of dementia Peri with delusions of being the ultimate godhead. It's almost as single minded as every other would-be madman bent on universal domination."

"What do we do Doctor?" Peri felt trapped.

"We allow ourselves to be turned into fiction Peri. Once we can fight it on it's level only then can we defeat it."

"But we won't be able to be turned back." Peri realised the flaw in the Doctor's plan.

"No. Sometimes it takes more than a series of lucky coincidences to stop evil Peri. Unfortunately countless billions of lives are at stake and under the circumstances two lives for all those seems a bargain."

"But I want to live Doctor. I want to see the Universe and have adventures and meet important people."

"Yes I know, I'm sorry I got you into all this, perhaps...yes that might just work. Hand me your botanical notebook Peri." The Doctor started to write something down in the notebook using a pencil found in a trouser pocket. "This might just work. Now when I say go walk slowly towards the TARDIS and whatever you do don't look back. Go."

They walked towards the TARDIS. Peri resisted the urge to look back and soon the Doctor unlocked the doors and they went inside.

"Look at the monitor Peri." The Doctor switched the large screen on. It showed the Master of the Land talking to themselves.

"I don't understand Doctor."

"It's all quite logical." The Doctor stated as he set the controls. "I created a fictional version of the two of us which allowed us to escape because I wrote down that the Master could not see us leave. As it is subject to fictional energies here as well as us we could escape."

"But what about the other me? Does she think she's the real me?" Peri was curious and a little disturbed.

"Well I had to make the other you convincing so I made a few notes about you yes."

The Master of the Land smiled as she set the controls to fictionalise the Doctor and Peri. A feedback signal went unnoticed until it was too late. Sparks exploded from the controls and transceiver banks. "I don't understand you're already fictional beings, but how?"

"That was me I'm afraid. I created these fictional copies and escaped a few minutes ago. By now we're beyond your influence."

"Hoist by your own petard." Peri said.

"Remind me to get your character right next time Peri." The Doctor smiled as they left the control base to take their place among the rest of the characters. "Someone once told me that we should perform our roles to the best of our abilities. Well as explorers I think a good look around is in order."

Peri took the Doctor's arm as they walked into a perfect sunset.

